look for the girl with the broken smile.

a girl i've been working out with for about 8 months said to me today...
"you are looking so cute and tiny! but you are bigger on top!"
and that's where my mind stopped.
she went on to say something about how i looked less frail.
i'm sure she meant that as a compliment.
i am gaining muscle.

i mean...
what did i expect?
i'm doing strength training 5 times a week.
i can dead lift for god's sake.
i'm eating protein.

but
"big on top"
wow.

i almost hurled myself off the balcony.

i want to look like a waif.
i must look half dead.
the outsides must match the insides.