it's the same way i survived being fat.... being the funny girl who lightens the truth with a laugh....
but there are days that i want to scream to those around me who try to "help"
"do you have any idea how hard it is to know you need to eat, and just simply can not??"
"do you know how badly i want to be like you and accept my imperfect body??"
yesterday after a training session, my body builder trainer asked me if i was going to eat after the workout that burned almost 1800 calories, according to my monitor.
i looked up at him, and with true honesty, i said
"no."
usually i try to brush it off.
and he looked at me sadly.
he knows.
at least he left me alone.
i found this today.
it's tinier than you can imagine. the size of my thumb, perhaps?
somebody understands.
my trainer, donny henderson-smith is a huge ripped bodybuilder too.
ReplyDeleteif he knew that i was not eating or starved myself on a regular basis, he would flatly refuse to train me at all.
i credit my therapist and my trainer for my almost complete recovery from an ED and body dismorphia.
together, they have helped me become who i am now, and i can't thank them enough. in fact, all they want is for me to be happy, and healthy.
SCORE on both those counts (for now!).
i hope you have a good day and feel happy. xoxo
Awwww, itty, bitty, bunny.
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