i'm deep into a dark period right now.
i'm missing a boy that i love that i can not have.
my fear is that since i have no hope of having him again, i will become fat.
i'm working my way thru this at the moment by submerging myself in a diet completely of vita-muffins and whey protein powder.
i think this will give me just enough oomph to still instruct.
and not enough to gain.
i want to lose.
i need to lose ten more.
control..
for i can not control the other...
that thing that brings me down.
i hate knowing exactly what my trigger is.
my darkness feels like it needs some flirting to solve it.
i hate this part of me.
did i tell you that the lad i was flirting up at the gym turned out to be seventeen?
yeah, i saw him when i dropped off my DAUGHTER.
at the HIGH SCHOOL.
and he's my boss' baby brother??
they should make those kids wear signs, i swear.
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