if I had gotten a card, it would read something like this...

so, my husband and children did nothing for me for mother's day.
my 15 year old daughter was asked by someone what she was doing for me, and she said
"nothing. i'm good to my mom every day."
my mom and my aunt both said to me, seperately...
"well, maybe you can work your way up at the gym and work in the daycare!"
(because being an instructor isn't the top of the fucking pyramid?)
and seeing happy, normal functional families everywhere, moms smiling, kids giggling...
all the happy facebook updates about how fabulous my friends were treated by their kids...
makes me downright suicidal.

i mean, if my own kids at their young ages take me for granted now, what hope do i have??
i am deeply alone.

so I popped a handful of laxatives,  a big glub of cold medicine,
and i went to bed at 5PM.

next year,
i am booking myself a hidden hotel room.
i am going to get a pedicure, drink mojitoes,
eat pizza and chocolate,
and lay in the pool all day
under the glaring eyes of all the fat moms that are around.

i should be downright skeletal by then.

i have a full year to starve.

the only good thing that happened was that my mother in law showed me pictures from easter, and wow.
i am skinny.
bony.
i didn't really know it.
i need to get my hands on those photos.