like a big sweater, only a person, not yarn.

do you ever just have those moments where you can feel everything that is wrong with your life?
like, you see all of the answers right in front of you?

i need comfort.
i need a hug.
i need love.

i have a family.
i have boys who want to fuck me.
(girls too)
i have a job i really love.
i have friends who support me.

but i need someone who wants to love me, more than anything.
someone who needs me more than air

i almost had it.

once, after that boy who did love me (and i loved him) discovered my eating disorder, and we were discussing how miserable hunger made me...
that boy asked....
"so if i'd just given you a sandwich, you would have been happier?"
i said "yes."
but i should have said
'just keep on loving me the way you do right now"

there are days i don't know how to go on like this, alone.